{End Of The Year Makeover: Day 6, Parenting}


It’s Thursday, Day 6 of our {End Of The Year Makeover}!!!  Woo hoo! We’re almost there ladies! Hang on tight, we are nearing the end of our ride and I promise you, just a few areas of reflection and assessment and we will be ready to enter into 2012 aligned and in order with God’s dreams for our lives.

Last week, I asked you to join me this last week of 2011 as we:

For those of you who took up the challenge… I applaud you.

It’s not easy assessing where we are and where we are going. Perhaps the most difficult part about it is willing to face the failures along the way.

Today, I encourage you to take courage and to throw the guilt trips out the window. I mean really- we can’t go back and change what was. However, you can…AND THIS IS THE MOST EXCITING PART…. you can change what your future will look like.

So again, I ask you to get comfortable. Grab a cup of coffee or your favorite tea and let’s get real.

{Day 6: Parenting Assessment}

Day 6 is about assessing our Parenting. Why are we stopping here? Well, reality is that life is so fast paced. As women in the 21st century who are driven and goal oriented, we can many times get so focused on our own wants, our own desires, and our own agenda that we forget one of the most important callings in our lives. The Ministry of Mothering. Yes. I said ‘Ministry’. If we are not purposeful in stopping to reflect, we may very well miss out on this most amazing part of our lives.

Remember yesterday, when I shared my selfish motives and agenda when it came to my marriage? Well, with parenting it was even harder to deal with. Not because I didn’t love me children. Lord knows I do!! I just didn’t know there was a different way of doing things. I did not dream that life, God’s way, could be so fulfilling!

What does selfish parenting look like? I’m glad you asked…

  • Do my kids get in the way?
  • Does it bother me if they interrupt me when I am on the phone or on my laptop (or any other gadget for that matter)?
  • Do I look at my kids like a burden or a bother?
  • Does the thought of having more kids make you want to cringe? I mean- really, raising up kids takes effort… Am I willing to invest in more children if it were God’s will to bless us? Or am I so set on how many kids I am ‘comfortable’ with?
  • Do I dream of the day when the kids will finally walk? Or finally be big enough to dress and feed themselves? Or finally be in school? Or finally grow up? Or finally be out of the house?
  • Would you rather put your kids in front of a television or game system so that they can get out of your hair, because you know… you have so many important things to do…
  • Are your daily duties like bathing, feeding, dressing, playing, and teaching your children monotonous and dreadful? Do you get upset when your husband doesn’t help you out… you know, take some of this load off?

{Allow Me To Share My Heart…}

I share this post and this assessment to help out young mothers who find themselves in the place that I was once in. I’m a dreamer. I had great big dreams about my career and what it would look like. I thought I was corporate material and I was going to climb high ladders. Now, I still believe that I am capable of doing just that. However, there was an interruption in my plans. I found myself pregnant with my daughter, and soon after, my dreams of climbing the corporate ladder did not seem as significant as the influence and impact that I was to have in this new life.

Do I believe that being successful in the corporate world is wrong? No. Do I believe that many women put their families to the side in order to escalate those heights? Yes.

For our family things changed when we felt led by God for me to be a stay at home mom. Man-oh-man, that first month was crazy. Spending the days with my daughter was awesome. I love being there when she wakes up with her hair all messed up. I love seeing her sleepy eyes and smile first thing in the morning… but I was just not used to days that revolved around taking care of the home and children. I remember washing the dishes and thinking, “Is this really my life? Is this it? Washing dishes, cleaning a house, and making breakfast, lunch, and dinner?”

My friend, even though the calling of God for our family was there, my attitude and my perception continued to be a worldly one. I remember it clearly when I felt the Holy Spirit saying, “this too is Holy”.  All of a sudden I realized that sitting behind a desk ‘being important’ was not MORE important than being here at home serving my family. I realized that there was value to what I do in the home. There was value in every prayer I made over my kids, in every study that I did with them. There was value in instructing them and leading them in the ways of the Lord. I wasn’t missing anything by not being out there doing ‘important’ things, rather I was living out those ‘important’ moments daily. I was exactly where God placed me.

To the young mothers who are drained and exhausted… I understand your discouragement at times.

To the young mothers who question their abilities and their parenting… .I understand your insecurities.

To the young mothers whose heart is for their children yet the day just doesn’t offer enough time or resources… I understand your dilemma.

My advice and encouragement to you today is to begin looking at your role of a mother as a MINISTRY. Everything you do… washing clothes, making breakfast, praying with your little ones, giving them baths… all of it is important to God. All of it is Holy. When you begin to look at your role as a Ministry, it is enveloped with purpose. Each task is another task accomplished in purpose.

You’d be amazed at how much you will grow and how many opportunities God will provide for you simply because you are walking in your purpose as a mother.

{Time To Assess}

Alright so here we go. Today we ask the Lord to show us where our selfishness, pride, laziness, and procrastination has hindered our roles as mothers. Today we ask God for wisdom, discernment, and strength to fulfill the task at hand. We ask for a double portion of love, grace, and mercy that we may pour these out onto our children. Today we ask the Holy Spirit to lead us with each of our children. God knows them better than we do. He can and He will lead us in truth and wisdom.

So where are we in our parenting? What types of relationships do we wish to nurture in our children? What do we want it to look like 18 years from now? What changes is the Lord calling you to today?

My prayer for you…

“Dear Lord, I lift up each and every mother who has stopped by here today. You know the great tugging that we experience in our roles as mothers and wives. You understand our struggles, our fears, our worries, and our insecurities. You understand our limits and you know very well our weaknesses.

Today I pray for each mother who is fatigued and exhausted with all the demands upon her. I pray for each mother who is simply trying to make it through the day without losing her mind. I pray for each mother who wants to be a godly mother but just doesn’t know where she will find the strength or the will to do so.

I pray that this assessment would serve, not as tool to demean or bash us into a pit of guilt, but instead that it would be an encouragement, a reminder that we are limited, but You are able. Where we are weak, You are made strong.

Grant each parent wisdom, discernment and peace as they navigate through the many challenges that come with parenting. And Lord, pour out your joy abundantly into their lives that they may be able to experience the ultimate joy that comes from serving and giving to those you’ve entrusted to them.

In Jesus Name,

AMEN”
For those who are parenting teens, check out our Checklist for Life: For Teens book club by clicking {here}.

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Posted on December 29, 2011, in DAILY LIFE, FAMILY LIFE, LIFE, LIFE LESSONS, MOTHERING ON PURPOSE, PARENTING and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. This really touched me. Thank you so much! I am about to sign up to be your newest follower…. 🙂 Thank you for blessing me. Brooke

  2. I did promise I was going to write a comment on how much this has helped me in so many ways…from organizing to financial information, etc…. You are awesome!! Thank you so much!! Can’t wait to see what you have for us in the new year!!

  3. Amen!! This is great Darlene!! Thank you!! Blessings to you and your family!

  1. Pingback: It’s That Time Of The Year Again… « In Pursuit

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