{Seven Things I Learned In Marriage}

It’s Wednesday and that means {Marriage and Family Life} talk. Last week I had a great time sharing all the {Date Night on a Budget} ideas. My husband and I even took some time out earlier this month to test out one of the Date Night suggestions and I must say- we had such a wonderful time…Lord knows we needed it!

If you would have spoken to my husband and I when we were engaged, you would have heard the following:

“We are going to be different from the married couples we see. We are going to give 100% always, and we are not going to let the romance and love die. Yep- our marriage….. our marriage is going to be different!!!!”

We were lovestruck and we were high on the idea of how life was going to turn out for us. Next month, on November 19th, we will celebrate our 6 year anniversary. Today, we know better…

Back then as a new couple (who needed a big-time reality check!), we came face to face with issues we were not prepared to handle. We were confronted with circumstances and situations, struggles and battles that would have shaken any marriage at its core. In between the financial struggles (including three layoffs) and the house fire, were many, many trying and difficult times. Today we are sure that our 100% would never be attainable if not for the grace of God. As a matter of fact, sometimes my 100% seems more like 67%, but God continues to mold me and teach me…. thank God for his mercy and his patience!

I can assure you that marriage is hard work, but the hard work reaps a harvest that I never imagined could be possible. One day perhaps, my husband and I will share with you more of where God has taken us from and what God is able to do when we surrender ourselves- our will, our pride, and our ‘ideas of the perfect family’ to him. He is able to do a work that is far greater than our sinful 100% ever could.  He takes our pursuit and our efforts and makes them holy.

Here are 7 things I learned in the past 6 years of marriage:

  1. It’s really not about me! (Can you believe that?! This one was hard for me to swallow.)
  2. You have to stop trying to ‘fix’ the man you married! Who gave you the job of being the “Holy Spirit”, anyway?
  3. Perhaps, just maybe…. God was totally serious when He called you to be a “helper” to your husband (Genesis 2:18).
  4. It’s not about feelings! Feelings will get you in big trouble. You may not feel like cleaning. You may not feel like cooking. You may not feel like giving that man the affection he longs for…so what? It has nothing to do with how you feel.
  5. Sex is to man, as communication/affection is to woman. Your negligence in taking care of your man can open up doors of temptation you might later regret: (Corinthians 7:4-6).”The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
  6. Relax and enjoy life together. The journey is just as important, if not more important, than arrival at your destination!
  7. Oh and last but certainly not least…. matter of fact it’s the glue that holds it all together….You need God! (Ecclesiastes 4:12-14, NIV), “Though one may be overpowered,   two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

So there you have it…. I pray that these 7 lessons, which by the way- I didn’t learn the easy way, would help you out some on your own pursuit of God’s best for your marriage. There’s so much more, but time and space on the blog just wouldn’t allow me to give it all to you in one shot ;0)

Perhaps one day, I’ll write a book about it all and then you can get up close and personal with {Mr. & Mrs. Collazo}….(You’d buy it wouldn’t you?! {smile}). I assure you, that only God’s mercy, love,  and grace has allowed us to make it thus far.

So how about you? What’s have you learned in marriage? I’d love to hear from you!


Posted on October 26, 2011, in FAMILY LIFE, LIFE, LIFE LESSONS, MARRIAGE and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. I need to share this with Joey. I loved it. Do you know how much you bless me with all your devotionals and post and oh my gosh you are so amazing, I love it!

  2. I totally agree with u. Marriage is definetly not for cowards. The idea that us girls have about marriage while we are single is far from true until u actually surrender all to God. I have been married 7 years now and honestly have felt like giving up many times but being in the Lord these past few months has given me hope, more patience (def need more lol), self control, love, taken away some of my selfishness and just some relief to know that he has it under control. The most important thing in marriage is God, God and God!!! I do need to have the date nights but time is one of my biggest issues then the budget n the babysitting…
    I do need to learn how to manage time better, between kids, laundry, cooking, cleaning and the list goes on and on, I’m exhausted by the end of day.
    Well, gotta keep moving, see u later!

    • Hi Rachel!!! Thanks so much for stopping by! I understand completely the ‘time’ issue. Perhaps next time on the blog we can talk about creative ways to make time. That sounds like a great idea for a post! (thanks!!!). I can tell you though, that God will lead you and direct you with wisdom and strategies as you continue to surrender your life to Him. I am blessed to hear that you are seeing a difference in the last months. God is able!

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