{Checklist for Life: Week 2- Loss, Things Fall Apart}


I am so glad you are back for our Checklist for Life: for teens book club. Previously on Week 1- Self Acceptance, we spoke about the different issues that teens face regarding their self image and we also reviewed how God sees us. Feel free to go back and review and download the FREE {Scripture Memory Verse Cards on Self Acceptance}.

Here’s a tip: I cut these out and laminated them. I then bought loose leaf book rings at STAPLES (office supply store), punched a hole through them and now my kids can study the verses anytime without losing any of the scripture cards (especially helpful when reviewing while on the road).

Today, we started our family study with prayer and a quick review on last weeks’ study, then we jumped right into today’s topic: {Loss- Things Fall Apart}.

It can be difficult when adults go through loss. The feelings and emotions that come along with a loss can leave us feeling lost and hopeless. Take that feeling and multiply it twofold, three fold, even tenfold for loss in the life of a teen. As adults, we’ve lived long enough to know that loss is a natural part of life. We understand that it will impact everyone at one time or another.

For teens, especially those experiencing a first time loss, this can come as a a surprise.Think back to your teenage years. Didn’t you think you were immortal, invincible even? Remember the feeling you felt when you experienced a break-up, for example. You thought your whole world was over. You thought that life, as you knew it, would never be the same. I recall even thinking that life wasn’t worth living anymore. Today, I find my thoughts (of the past) to be so foolish, but back then they were real- Just as real as the feelings of loss that your teen will experience in their own life.

As parents, it is our responsibility to let our children know that they will, in fact, experience loss. However, as godly parents, it is also our responsibility to teach our children how to handle loss in a biblical way. The world teaches our teens to drown their sorrows in drugs,  alcohol, and promiscuity. It teaches them to hide in a pit of depression, to cut themselves, and to rebel against the world. Basically, the world teaches our teens to run and hide from the pain.

As Christian parents, it is so important that we model for our children how to walk through loss. Our example will speak louder than anything we teach or say to them. So before you even start the lesson this week, take a minute to look at your own life. How have you handled loss in your life? What have your children seen you do in your time of pain? Ask God to give you wisdom in how you handle future loss that you may model for your children that God is very present in their time of need.

I encourage you to first take yourself to the Lord and have a real and open talk with him about your own pain. See, I remember the days when my pain shut me in from the world; isolation was my defense. I remember the days when pain numbed me to those around me and when I would shut down. I was definitely not a good example back then.

Today, I am reminded of the time I locked myself in the bathroom until 3:00 in the morning crying. I was grieving and I felt like no one was allowing me to grieve. That’s when God spoke so clearly to my heart, “why won’t you let me sit here with you. We don’t have to say a word. I just want to sit here with you.”

That day I learned that God understood my pain and that He was okay with my grieving. I was free to experience the pain and although the pain did not immediately subside, I felt the comfort, love and acceptance of God all over me. God gave me permission to grieve.

With that in mind and after first looking at your own life, let’s jump into the lesson:

{READ}

Psalm 34:7

Matthew 11:28

Psalm 91:14

Psalm 90:1

Luke 4:18

Download your FREE  {Scripture Memory Verse Cards: Loss} (<—–simply click link)

{THINGS TO REMEMBER WHEN DEALING WITH LOSS}

1)      Admit that you’re feeling sad, angry, confused, etc.

2)      Turn your feelings over to God.

3)      Allow God and others to help you handle the loss. Allow them to help you make sense of your life again.

4)      Speaking about your feelings is a must*** holding things in can lead to depression

5)      Dealing with a loss is a process, there is no instant cure.

6)      Take time to focus on what you still have instead of what you’ve lost.

{WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE FOR US}

We talked about:

  • A kid in school whose parents have a lot of money, turns out he was in the bathroom crying one day because his mother passed away.
  • Couples who have everything they could want: house, money, new vehicles, yet their marriage is failing or they have lost children or family members.
  • Losses in our own lives (my husband’s layoffs, our house fire).
  • How we dealt with our own losses.
  • How loss affects the heart sometimes causing anger and bitterness towards God, and how to have a right view of God during the loss.
  • How loss can lead to depression, isolation, suicide, loss of care regarding ones’ life.
  • We reviewed the checklist on page 24.

{HOMEWORK}

  • Pray for friend who lost his mother
  • Homework: Memorize 3 scriptures

{NOW IT’S YOUR TURN}

I know that sometimes it’s difficult to talk to our children about real life issues. We live in a disconnected world where people only feel comfortable talking if it’s through a text message or a Facebook page. Don’t be discouraged. You have the power to change that for your family. Even if this is not easy for you, you have the power to set a new norm for your family. So go ahead, jump into this week… first with prayer and the word, and then with the wisdom and guidance of the Holy Spirit.

I cannot say it enough… thank you for joining me on this journey. Your kids will one day thank you! Don’t forget to stop by and share how your study went this week and what worked for you. Here on {In Pursuit} I am committed to lifting you and your family in prayer. Post that comment and as long as I have your name, I will make sure to continuously pray for your family on this journey. You are not alone and your commitment to your children is greatly honored by God. Remember, this- my friend- is a high calling!

Send me your comments and let me know how it went for you. I want to hear about it! And get ready for next week’s topic, {CLIQUES}.

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Posted on September 24, 2011, in CHECKLIST FOR LIFE: BOOK STUDY, FAMILY LIFE, LIFE LESSONS, MOTHERING ON PURPOSE, PARENTING, TEENS and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. So this week’s topic, WOW!!! We started off in prayer and and we read the lesson together. Then I started talking about one of my personal loss that affected my boys especially my 14 year old. This loss had to do with family. Two years back I had some differences with my sister-in-law which affected the whole entire family. We were very close and my boys were extremely close to her and her daughter’s(their cousins). Due to those circumstances we stopped talking and seeing each other. I was so hurt that I became bitter, angry inside but never showing my boys that. I knew that my oldest son was feeling the same but did not want to express it. So with this lesson we were able to talk about and he actually expressed the way he felt. He said that even thought we have surpassed those situations he still feels a bit of anger. That when he sees her it feels awkward because he lost that trust in her. She was suppose to love us no matter what happen between adults. WOW!!!! He also said to me “Mom I must really say that you really handled this well because I would’ve got ghetto on her”LOL!!! “And MOM how you forgave her even though she was the one that did the wrong doing, Jesus must really live within you”. As for us Relationships were lost.I explained to him that I was bitter and angry but at left it to God and he helped me take that bitterness and anger away from. I told him that it was time to move on and and ask God to take all those mixed emotions away and learn how to forgive and that once he does that he is going to feel much better. Then we went into scripture and prayed. It was AWESOME!!!!

    • Hi Evelyn!!! I was so blessed with your post. Words cannot express just how pleased I am to know that this book club is making a difference in your family! It is a reminder and an encouragement to continue moving forward. It is a reminder that God’s purposes for our lives go beyond what we think. I must say- I have you guys in my prayers daily and I am believing that God will use this season in the life of your son to help him establish his own relationship with God. I am believing that God will use this for His glory and that more sooner than later, you will see that along the way, your son picked up his own faith. What an amazing and joyous day that will be! And I, my friend, will pray and walk with you on this journey!!!

      Thank you for your transparency in sharing here on the blog. It is comments and posts such as yours that encourage others to also step out from behind the masks we create. It empowers others to do the same, so thank you!!!

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