{End Of The Year Makeover: Day 5, Marriage}


Last week I asked you to join me on an {End Of The Year Makeover}. It would be a time of assessment where we’d look at 2011 and go down category by category to find out where we were, where we are, and were we want to be. My challenge to you was…..

Join me this last week of 2011 as we:

{Alright, so it’s Day 5}

Day 5 is all about Marriage. It’s about one of the most important relationships you will ever have to work out in your life. Marriage. Yep. It’s that part of life where two (one male and one female) come together to become one. Crazy eh? It still amazes me how marriage is a reflection here on earth of Christ and His bride. I mean really… two sinful people together in one home trying to walk together in life…. sounds crazy if you ask me… but you know… God’s ways are so much higher than my ways. His thoughts, so much greater than mine.

In some odd way, my relationship with my spouse exemplifies Christ’s relationship with the church. I don’t know about you, but I am the first to confess that there have been many days in the last 6 years of my marriage where my relationship with my honey looked nothing like Christ and His bride. Those days are the days when I am reminded that God’s grace, love, and Holy Spirit will teach us and lead us. That we are a work in progress and that God is not through with us yet!

So don’t get all bent out of shape if your marriage is not all roses. No marriage is. However- and that’s a big HOWEVER- a marriage in which Christ is center, is a marriage filled with love, forgiveness, peace and joy. It is a marriage where two very sinful people can come together as one and yes, you can be a display of the most amazing mystery… Christ and His bride. How completely awesome is that?!

So today we are assessing our marriages. Now before we move forward let me take a minute to explain that WE ARE NOT assessing our husbands. Today, put down your ‘Holy Spirit Assistant’ hat. God doesn’t need your help in changing the man who lies next to you each night. Yeah. Can you believe it? I was so surprised also when I found out. I mean really- I had some amazingly wonderful strategies and ideas and I was ready to implement them the moment my husband said “I do”. Somehow though, along the way, I found out that my ideas and strategies were irrelevant They stemmed from my own selfish motives and agendas. If I sat long enough, I sadly found out that they were all self-serving and quite negligent of my role as a wife.

And so today, with a renewed heart and mind. I have learned that it’s not about me… WOAH!!!!!! Not about me… NOW THAT ONE WAS HARD TO SWALLOW!

Nonetheless, until I was able to do just that, I was unable to see my husband for whom he really is… the priest of our home. He was the one whom God set as the head of our home and without putting my selfishness and pride to the side, I was unable to see the amazing masterpiece already in front of me.

Today ladies, it’s not about them. It’s about us. It’s time to assess our marriage from the view of our roles.

  • What exactly is our motivation in our marriages?
  • What are our dreams and are they God’s dreams for our marriages?
  • Are our dreams self-serving? Are they motivated by selfishness and pride?
  • When was the last time that I took the time to truly show my husband how much I care about him?
  • What can I do to bring about change in our marriage?
  • How can I pray for our marriage?
  • Is date night a priority in our life or have we pushed that to the back burner?
  • Where were we?
  • Where are we in our marriage?
  • Where are we going?
  • What am I contributing to my marriage?
  • What needs to change (about me) in my marriage?
  • Is there sin (remember we are looking at ourselves) in my marriage?
  • What is God saying to me about my role as a wife?

Alright ladies, those are just some starter questions for you. Allow the Holy Spirit to lead you as you make a real assessment about your marriage and your role as a wife in that marriage?

After going through these questions, I challenge you to bring them to the Lord. Bring to God all the answers you’ve responded and ask Him to lead you and show you His way of ‘marriage’. Ask him to heal you from anger and brokenness. Repent from pride, selfishness, arrogance, and any other hidden sin. Then commit to allow the Holy Spirit to lead you into the new year with a new resolve in your heart for a marriage God’s way!

I do not pretend to act as though this assessment will be easy or even do-able in a day. However, answering these questions is a starter. It’s a starting point to a journey in your marriage that leads to true fulfillment in Christ. It’s a place to take all that is in your heart and mind and get it out. Not to your best friend over the phone. Not to the nosy neighbor but to the God who cares. The God who is for you. The God who holds it all together! So go ahead…. take courage and look at your marriage and be real….

The {End Of The Year Makeover} is about finding the joy that comes from a life lived on purpose and with purpose. It’s the life of abundance that God has for us all!

I want to hear from you! What end of the year changes are you making? How is taking a closer look at your life impacting how you enter into the New Year? What cleaning tips do you have? Whatever it is.. Send me your comments and emails…I want to hear about it!

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Posted on December 28, 2011, in DAILY LIFE, FAMILY LIFE, LIFE, LIFE LESSONS, MARRIAGE and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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